Day 55 Juice Feast -- That Which is Indestructible

Shortly after I arrived at my previous organization in one assignment one of my project teammates was someone I spent a lot of time with talking about the work. In the process we started to become friends and talk about our personal and eventually, our spiritual lives. As it turned out I was in the presence of a bodhisattva; a brilliant scholar who in fact, would later be appointed as a lama.

I was grateful for our conversations--he helped me see another perspective on life. As time went on he asked me if I wanted to be a bodhisattva and began giving me teachings on Buddhism. I was always honest that the path of a bodhisattva was not mine (he regularly applauded my internal compass). Still I listened with curiosity to his teachings--although fascinating and useful I honestly figured he could accumulate more merit through his diligent encounters with an attentive heathen. Despite the discomforts that were to come one thing I got out of it both literally and as reinforced by our Contract was the concept of seeking that something inside me which is indestructible.

 However that was not what he needed to learn. We had very little time together before the energy started to become uncomfortable. In Sacred Contracts Caroline Myss tells us how to identify who we have a Contract with: "Think, feel, respond to animation [intuition]. Anytime you feel your system buzzing, you're near something that means something to your spirit. Even if it means nothing to your mind and even less to your heart it does to your spirit." I could feel when he walked in the building in the morning, where he had been in the hallway and when he walked behind me into the break room. I experienced other energetic communications outside the workplace. It was an onslaught of energy.


I held the space for him to play out his lesson. During this time it caused quite a spectacle at work--and I became such a source of gossip that I actually heard about it. He left the organization shortly thereafter and his goodbye included a sheepish indirect communication that his actions were based on delusion.  

Myss tells us we will find our contracts because we are confused, we are questioning, we seek to fill our belly with the unknown. "You know a contract is complete because your belly feels full. That's when you know you've made the right choice."

Although I was initially irritated by the notion of having to play out these difficulties I came here to learn (denial truly is the first step!)--there is little more satisfying than a closed contract and for me, it is ridiculous to try and avoid the unknown, animation and Contracts.

Day 3 Juice Feast -- Types of Juices and Specialty Liquids

Last night I made up two different types of fermented juices.  I've found fermented beets to be just about the only way I can drink beet juice. I used to juice them but found them too strong on my body. It was like my liver became a punching bag and beet juice was a world champion boxer. So, one of the fermented juices is a combination of beet, celery, cabbage with a bit of Celtic sea salt and one stick of kombu seaweed. I shred or chop finely the beets, celery, and cabbage and add all items to a gallon jar.  Then I fill it with spring water and set it in the closet. Here it sits and ferments for about  3 days (my house is fairly warm) and I then harvest it through a strainer and drink and store the excess in the refrigerator.  This mixture can then be filled again with water for a second harvest, although I usually let it sit a little longer (maybe 5 days) this time.  The second fermented juice I made was taken from the Jubbs book Lifefood Recipe Book: Living on Life Force. It's made with shredded cabbage, lemons with the rind cut off and I throw in a pinch of sea salt.  This one need only sit for a day or day and a half before the single harvest. I will drink these in addition to the 4 quarts daily.

The other types of juices I'm making are green juices with either spinach, swiss chard, kale, lettuce I picked up from the farmer's market, 1 head of celery, 1 cucumber, 1 inch of peeled ginger, and two lemons with the rind cut off. I have two of these each day.  I fill the Vitamix up with these items, add in a minimal amount of spring water, blend and strain through the nutmilk bag.  After I did the 3 Day Green Juice Feast I've found I have a greater taste for green juices. This was not the case during the first Juice Feast. I have also had Spirulina Blue Eyed Goddess juice, one quart of pineapple with liquid probiotics added (my favorite!) and small amounts of grapefruit juice mixed with Chlorella Manna or Warrior Greens and fermented spirulina. While making my juices I like to think of the most loving, positive thoughts I can. I usually say my mantra over the juice but when I'm spending extended time with food and making juices I listen to monks chanting Om Mani Padme Hum with a forest (a favorite place of mine to be) background.  The mantra is complex but in simple terms it is said to alleviate the suffering of all sentient beings. I like to listen to it on some nights too as Eknath Easwaran  has taught those who use mantras should try to embed the mantra deeper and deeper into their being.


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I had my first colonic this afternoon. Afterwards I felt so relaxed I could take a nap. Too bad I had to deal with Friday afternoon traffic. During the first Juice Feast I regularly woke up early Sunday morning and drove for my weekly colonic. I don't remember exactly how many weeks (maybe 6 or 7) I went but I stopped once I felt nothing was coming of it. I usually do a castor oil pack the night before I do a colonic but I didn't last night. So today about an hour and a half before the appointment I rubbed magnesium lotion into my abdomen. I haven't done that before so I don't know what will come of it.  My plans for the evening are a trip to the sauna and more sleep.

Are You Helping Others?

Credit: Gone but Not Forgotten

As I've cleaned up my diet, my thoughts and my life practices, I've thought considerably about the impact I have on the world right now and I can't help but think of what my legacy will be (propelling me to try even more to live a better life). I've studied Buddhism irregularly as a philosophy for many years. I find its intellectually rigorous concepts challenging and satisfying. I've tried to incorporate as many of the elements of Buddhism that work for me in my daily life and from it and raw foods I launched my growing spiritual practices. Because I find the philosophy so beautiful yet demanding I do not consider myself a Buddhist nor an aspiring Buddhist. However as a philosophy and a way of life, when I practice its concepts it makes me a better person.

Recently I've developed an interest in astrology. It took several viewings for me but Rick Levine's Quantum Astrology: Science, Spirit and Our Place in the Cycles of History finally makes sense to me. Through his analysis of planetary alignments over the centuries he clearly shows: "We begin to appreciate that single events do not happen by themselves. They always happen in a fabric of continuity connected to larger events of the past, to unknown events of the future and through astrology we get a different perspective of history." Furthermore he articulates: "So as we dip our toes in the quantum pond and watch these ripples move out astrology, more than anything else, reminds us that our future is not sealed in fate. In fact, it's sealed in every little action that we take every time we poke into that quantum pond. Every action we take has ripples and those ripples have ramifications that build and come back in the future in ways that today, we do not know."

As I've developed myself and worked at becoming a better person a natural inclination is, as the Buddhists have taught me, to help others. Over the course of time I've learned that sometimes when you help others you can actually hurt them. In my current dysfunctional work environment I see drama on a daily basis. It is so broken I've come to the conclusion that I don't know the solution to resolve its brokenness.  I've wanted to leave for months yet I held on because I've wanted to help these souls who seem so hurt, lost and angry. After more than a year of misery, I've come to some conclusions. Namely, it doesn't have to be this way.

To build the ladder out of this pit of misery I've harkened back to my undergraduate days studying communication models. The one I've learned so much from and reintroduced into my life is

(Google Images)

Stephan Karpman's Drama Triangle Model. 

I've added a few more commonly used adjectives to the roles written out in Wikipedia, but the Drama Triangle is constructed of the following:

• The person who plays the role of a victim, martyr or vulnerable being
• The person or villain who bullies, pressures, coerces, oppresses or persecutes the "victim"
• The rescuer, hero, or enabler who intervenes, seemingly out of a desire to help the situation or the underdog.

Keep in mind these roles fluctuate in each person in varying circumstances although many people have a natural tendency toward one role. Do you see yourself in one of these? In other visual depictions of the triangle people rightly cite the central element of the Drama Triangle as denial. People who play out this dysfunctional communication pattern are often emotionally or egotistically vested in their roles and do not see the drama they are creating. Here is a short example of the process.

As I envision my legacy I would like it to be one without drama. Don't get me wrong, I love performing arts and I'm not excluding literature from my life--but I am stopping drama by refusing to play this dysfunctional game. The key ingredient in this game is the victim. If there are no victims, there is no drama. This can be a bitter pill for some to swallow. So be it. For me I reflect on the larger, spiritual perspective. Perhaps the person playing the "victim" is evening out karma or is here to learn a lesson these circumstances can provide. I can feel compassion for them and want to help, but I will not do so if it perpetuates drama.