Friday, July 5, 2013

Day 66 Juice Feast -- I'd Rather be Silent

Yesterday was a peaceful day. There is something about silence that is safe and cocoon-like. I did however break my silence again almost immediately after it started--for some reason, for the first time in her life, my cat decided to walk across my face and jolted me awake. I don't remember what I said but I was mindful I had spoken a few words before I stopped. Other than that it is getting much easier to embrace the wisdom of silence.

With intention, I have been slowly reading Radical Acceptance over the course of this JF but I finished it yesterday. Although I have finished the book and I am closer to applying acceptance in the moment--I still have a noticeable gap (I haven't touched the aversion books yet).  Brach emphasizes "Radical Acceptance is the art of engaging fully in this world--wholeheartedly caring about the preciousness of life--while also resting in the formless awareness that allows this life to arise and pass away." This is a bit easier for me to do in silence. But when I'm not silent she also provides a way to get reconnected: "When we get lost we need only pause, look at what is true, relax our heart and arrive again."  Sometimes this just cycles me back into silence. What I know for sure is that I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I decided this acceptance vow would be a worthwhile investment in my education.

But, as Andrew Holecek expertly advises in The Power and The Pain: Transforming Spiritual Hardship Into Joy, "Silence often gives birth to spiritual insight, and silence is the way to seal the energy of insight." These words served me well but perhaps the most I need to work on comes from Robert Sardello's Silence: The Mystery of Wholeness "...Silence is necessary in our time, for we not only have to discover lost realms, but also, at the same time, clear away our deeply ingrained desire to live by what others have said rather than discover inner truths for ourselves." Is this why some people know to refer you back to things you've already said? Do I already know these things but find them inaccessible outside of silence? Clearly silence is challenging--yet, at times, it can yield unexpected rewards.

The Shrine (Waterhouse)

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